Illusions...

"The human potential to hurt and to love is so strong. I realize now more than ever before how I must make a conscious effort not to judge."

After all, everyone has their own crosses to bear and their own scars to live with.
At fifteen the world was bigger than it seems today. I was naive and happy with my misconceptions. It was easier to be a dreamer, to have an unrealistic view of reality and to have absolutely no concern about adulthood.I never actually thought I'd be rolling along in the twenties with issues of self-worth and the clinging ambition to do something more. I was wrong about so many people who turned out exactly the opposite of what I expected. I thought I was so sure of my aspirations academically until I opened my mind to other avenues.Choice can be unnerving. But I learn something interesting everyday and that helps eliminate what I don't like. I was wrong in thinking certain bonds with certain people to be everlasting. Instead I made new and unexpected friends in the weirdest of places.I learnt how awesome it felt to help a complete stranger and one day to find someone go out of their way in being kind to me.
Then suddenly one day, a moment...changes your life at that strategic second that you were so blissfully unaware of. You feel like you've never felt before, you hope like you've never hoped before and surprisingly in my case -I prayed like I've never before prayed before.
To feel like you've 'come home', changes you. It's almost spiritual. It helps you get through the day, sleep happily and dream on....Now at fifteen, I would never have said this.I've changed. Life and timing though are somewhat still struggling to sync themselves in my reality. That feeling of 'Coming home' is an intangible one. It was there all along, but I needed to reach this stage to feel its power. I want to 'go home'. But I can't just yet. I must work hard, wait patiently and trust in a miracle. Life is a surprise.